Why did the chicken cross the road?

Ok so heres the deal.. I've come across about a zillion and one lawyer jokes along the lines of knock knock jokes (basically,very corny) and ofcourse there's this general mentality amongst people that ALL lawyers are bad, scary, money grabbing individuals... Its not completely wrong at some level but hey not everyones like that. Take the Wise Guy at my firm... Gods gift to the legal fraternity..or so he thinks ;) Dont get me wrong, he does know what hes doing...but the nature of our work means that not everything's black and white. There are a lot of grey areas involved and I feel the most important thing to do is to LISTEN to what the other person is going on about. I feel that in a profession such as ours,listening is very important. If you have the gift of the gab, then everything's hunky dory.. but LISTEN! In a way I guess this applies to anyone really....

Moral of the story: Not all lawyers are ruthless sharks! some of them do have hearts, honest!

Anywho, I guess most of us have somewhat of a sense of humour and can laugh at ourselves. Enjoy the (perhaps lame) jokes




What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?

The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.


What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

No changes occur.


What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum?

The bucket.


What's the difference between God and an attorney?

God doesn't think he's an attorney.


How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.